why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
