I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize