Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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