party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
