half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
