dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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