Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize