Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
