well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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