...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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