Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
