My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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