Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
