pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just had sex on a roof
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
