Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
