on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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