Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
