I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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