I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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