Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
