i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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