Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I cannot find my penis.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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