i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
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That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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