Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
