You're completely useless in the revolution.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
the raccoons are back...
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