You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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