three words: i give head
three words: not that well
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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