omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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