Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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