and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
