I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
