She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
