Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
A bitchslap is in order.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
