if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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