fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
