Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
