are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
