dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
