some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
