covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
