you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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