my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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