whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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