I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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