she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
