I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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