Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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