im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
