pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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