I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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