i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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