Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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