I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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