I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
