do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
