I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
people are starting to question the shark bite story
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
