are you still at the devil's house?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
